Everything I need to know, I learned from the Food Network

• The proper way to open an avocado includes cutting all the way around with a knife, then twisting the two halves apart, sticking the knife into the pit, and twisting out. You will need to demonstrate the proper method for opening an avocado at least once every half hour 50 times per day, despite the expense and the fact that most people hardly ever eat avocados.
• Everything gets a pinch of salt and a grind of pepper. No, everything. The pinch of salt should come from a little bowl of salt and be pinched with your dirty finger tips.
  
• Everything gets lemon or lime or orange zest. DON'T ZEST THE WHITE PART, IT'S PITH AND IT'S BITTER, DON'T EVER ZEST THE PITH.
• You must always invite the same number of people for a meal as you have fancy dishes, usually 5 besides yourself. "Sorry Joe, I only have 6 martini glasses to use for dessert, but you can go into the kitchen and spoon sorbet right out of the crocker if you want, just make sure the cameramen don't see you."
  

Best News Release Ever

Manitobans to rock awards show: Minister

Washed up

My husband and I bought a house a few months ago, and we moved in yesterday. We bought a front-loading washer today and it should arrive in a few days. I'm really excited to try it out. The door is see-through, so at least I'll have something to do if the cable is ever out.