Letter to the editor of epic proportions

After my husband and I used a HBC gift registry for our wedding last year, we automatically started receiving "2: The Magazine for Couples". It's extremely fluffy, and I wouldn't pay a dime for it, but it's free, so I can't complain. However, I must re-print the following letter submitted to "2Mail", their feedback page. I won't reprint the name but on the off chance the person ever reads this, my kudos.

Dear 2, please take us off your mailing list. Unlike Andrew and Amie from Red Deer, Alta., we don't fight over your magazine when it arrives, unless it is to fight about whose fault it is that I slipped on a pile of junk mail and unsolicited magazines covering our front entrance! Although the relationship of Steve and Susie from Moncton, N.B., may have changed for the better because of your magazine, our marriage doesn't need your help. Your magazine is not helping my marriage! If my marriage ever becomes about buying crap, doing renovations, throwing parties and being "eco-friendly" (in a most obnoxious, consumption-driven hypocritical way), I'll be in touch.

The bits about other couples are taken straight from an ad about the magazine, inside each issue of the magazine, showing quotes from various couples about how much they like it. The closer is icing. I'm actually just impressed that 2 had the guts to print it.